Forever Changed

I heard the footsteps coming and I knew this would be another long night
And something inside me screamed this time it really isn’t right
The words he was saying were ruthless and cruel
And each time he hit me I sat there and obeyed each and every rule
I sat there blank faced and scared knowing that I couldn’t cry
For I knew what would happen if he saw the tears in my eyes

Each and every swing felt worse and worse
And then all I wanted was to be dead in a hearse
He got real close and whispered “Bitch I wish you weren’t alive”
And all I was thinking was you’re right, I wish I wouldn’t survive
He threw against the wall then proceeded to pin me to the ground 
He hit me again, covered my mouth, not letting me make a sound

I started to struggle and tried to release myself of his forceful grip
Then the next thing I heard was a loud, horrifying rip
His hands were cold and I cringed at first touch
I don’t understand how a father could hate his daughter so much
I froze and I couldn’t believe that this was really going on
I just kept looking at the clock wanting him to be gone

I tried so badly not to think of the sharp pain
And this wasn’t part of his usual game
I closed my eyes wishing the time would just pass by
And that next time I opened them I would be up in the sky
He pushed harder and harder and excruciating pain was all I felt
The next thing I heard was the unbuckling of his belt

Something happened inside of me that I can not explain
I got this surge of energy and said “f you and your reign”
Somehow, someway I got out just in time
But what he had already done will never get out of my mind
From then on my life has been forever changed
It was like all I knew had been rearranged
I hate him with everything I have in me and so much more
And one day I want to end this war